The Top 10 Health Benefits of Orgasms

The Best Medicine

A visit from Dr. Feelgood, a.k.a. an orgasm, releases endorphins that produce euphoria, pleasure, and occasionally uncontrollable laughter. (My friend’s dating a girl who goes “Heh, heh, heh” after she comes. Like the Hamburglar.)

The Actual Cure For the Common Cold

Forget apples. Fornicating on the regs keeps the doctor away. Sexual health counselor and researcher Alison Richardson says: "Regular sex is linked to higher levels of the antibody immunoglobulin A, which may protect us from common colds by boosting the immune system.

After Sex, the Glass Is
Half Full

It’s good for your head as well as your heart and, uh, those other very special parts too! Sexual hormones may lower rates of depression, anxiety and suicide. Doing the horizontal mambo relieves everyday tension as well—like, say, a co-worker jacking your 2% Fage yogurt. I GOT MY EYE ON YOU, LADY.

Battling Breast Cancer The Fun Way

According to Needle, Oxytocin has been shown to possibly prevent breast cancer cells from developing into a tumor. And don’t forget the foreplay! Breast and nipple stimulation produces even more cancer-cell-fighting oxytocin.

You Can Eat That Zebra Cake Now And Not Gain 100 Lbs. Immediately

Woot! According to WebMD, 30 minutes of sex can burn over 85 calories, and 42 half-hour sessions add up to 3,570 calories in the can. Granted, if you do the post-coital Taco Bell run of your (uh, my) dreams, it’ll basically even itself out. Or, if you want to be good, keep some healthy snacks on your nightstand, like almonds, to curb your appetite instead.

The Glorious Gift of Sleep

Truth be told, as I write this, it is 4 AM. If you’re a troubled sleeper like me, you’ll appreciate the steep drop in blood pressure and sudden relaxation after an orgasm, which, in most cases, usually puts him to sleep before you. But if he’s doing it right (or if you’re doing yourself right), you should be dropping off to a sound sleep before you finish this article. Or, in the wise words of En Vogue, “He knocks me out with one shot for the rest of the night.”

Wake up though, I’m not done.

Bye-Bye, Cramps

Endorphins are about as close to morphine as you’re going to get unless you recently fell out of a tree and broke all your bones, or you’re Nurse Jackie. Have you ever had a headache or menstrual cramps that mysteriously seemed to vanish during a(period) sex session? Yeah, that’s the endorphins increasing your pain tolerance by 70 percent. Or you’re just distracted by the dude on top of you. Either way.

It’s Better Than Makeup

If you’re making the beast with two backs regularly, there’s no need to jump in a Sephora makeup artist’s chair and ask them to Benjamin Button the sh*t out of you. The hormone DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone), released during sex romps repairs tissue and keeps it looking young. In a 10-year study of men and women’s sex routine in relation to their appearance, volunteer judges guessed the ages of people who had regular sex from seven to 12 years younger than they actually were.

Memory

Much like a pot of fresh Columbian at 9 AM, having sex keeps your brain sharp. In increasing blood circulation, it transports oxygen-enriched blood to the hypothalamus (the center of your brain for memory and learning). In other words: Orgasms = Remembering where you put your keys. Practical!

Decreases Incontinence Among Seniors

This is self-explanatory. I’m sure you want to run right out and have sex now after that lovely image.